Chris, & all you wonderful people who have changed my life at Kinsolving:
I do not know how to express my enormous thanks to all of you. I am forwarding some emails to you from my BM & her daughter so that you can share all the incredibly wonderful emotional experiences that are going on - that Kinsolving was responsible for:
I am having dinner with my BF in a week.
I have intended to write before now, but have been in such a happy fog, I did not get to it. My daughter and I have communicated briefly since Dec. 23 and I hope to meet her soon.The holidays, etc. have prevented that from happening, as yet. She, her husband and my son did meet for lunch and had a wonderful, fun time. He said they just kept staring at each other...was a bit like looking into a mirror. She is almost identical in looks and personality to my youngest daughter. Both my other two daughters have sent her lots of pictures and they are slowly getting to know each other. We are trying to take this by baby steps...not wanting to completely overwhelm her or ourselves, but I can hardly wait to spend some time with her in person. I am amazed that we have practically lived in each others back yards for most of these years, she and my son were at the same college at the same time (they both breathed a sigh of relief that they did not date each other!!!).....on and on it goes.
So..........now I have 4 children and 8 grandchildren...how wonderful. I can not thank you enough for having the know-how to get this done. Keep doing it ...you are changing lives for the better.
There is no way that I can ever thank you enough for the search. You have made my life complete
I am sorry that I have not written a testimonial sooner, but will do so now! I met with my mother and it was a great meeting. I brought my oldest daughter with me too. Our meeting took place in Arkansas, at my cousins home, He and his wife are two of the several family members who know about me. She is still unsure of when she will let her other nieces and nephews know, if at all. It is hard to disclose long kept secrets at 92 years of age. I am fine with whatever she decides.
My mother is scheduled for surgery this week, which was supposed to occur earlier, but is finally taking place. I am hoping she continues to stay healthy and that the surgery does not take too much out of her. We are hoping for another reunion, maybe in Massachusetts in the spring/summer, when she will meet her son-in-law and her two other grandchildren. I have also been able to do some research on my birth fathers family, I am so fortunate to have this information. I am attaching a picture of our visit for you, but
please do not include in the testimonial yet!
Here is my testimonial:
After searching for my birth mother for over 30 years, I finally turned to Kinsolving. I had followed many avenues in search of a birth parent, even going to court in the state of Illnois, all to no avail. I had some non-identifying information and my amended birth certificate. I had always suspected that my mother had given an alias for her name, but could not be sure. I also knew that I was born out of wedlock and my father had been married to someone other than my mother.
Kinsolving terminated my search this past July, since after two years they were unable to find a next of kin. In the meantime, I had given up any hope of finding my mother alive - she would now be 92 - and was hoping to possibly find half-siblings. I had also given up any hope of ever knowing who my father might be, since siblings may not have even been aware of my mothers relationship with my father. When I received the notice from Kinsolving I was very disheartened and realized I had done everything in my power to find a relative, but would have to make peace with the fact that I was unable to do so.
In late September, almost exactly two months after the Kinsolving termination, I received a call one evening from Kinsolving. He explained that while doing a search in the Chicago area, he came across my file and thought he could find some information for me. He said that while the search had technically been terminated, searches were never completely disregarded. He too, thought that my mothers name may have been an alias, but said that she would have never been able to make up the name of the town she
I was careful not to get my hopes up and thanked them for their continued effort.
Two days later I received the call I had been waiting for. Kinsolving told me they had found my mother and that she was alive, living on her own, and cognitively "with it". I was in shock, to say the least. I then received, from Kinsolving, information about my birth mother and her family, dating back to the 1800s!
Now, with her phone number in my hand, it was up to me to make the call. I waited until the evening when my husband was with me for moral support. My mother was thrilled to hear from me and said she had thought of me every day and had always hoped I would find her. She never married and had a successful career in the Chicago area for many years. At one time, we lived less than two miles apart from each other. I was a flight attendant for many years. My mother was a TWA flight attendant, and she told me my father had been a Braniff pilot. So, after 61 years of not knowing who my birth parents were, I had all the information I had been seeking. I also learned that my father had died in 1958. He had no other children either.
Since that call, I have met my lovely mother, My oldest daughter met her also, and we are trying to plan a reunion for her to meet her son- in-law and two other grandchildren. We are still getting to know each other via phone calls and letters. I have also done some research on my birth father and his family which has been enlightening.
I consider my completed search nothing short of a miracle, thanks to Kinsolving. My story has a happy ending and I only wish I had contacted Kinsolving earlier in my search.
Jeanne (Boston, MA)
You gave me such good advice which I did follow. I am so thrilled that it went so well. I think she might tell her children, she asked for my email address because her daughter has a lot of the photos.
I feel like I am living in a dream world thanks to all of you! Please say a special thanks to all who were involved in my case! Thanks so much for all your wonderful help.
I just wanted to THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART for what you have given me and my first mom. We are proceeding slowly, which is okay with me. Her husband has been wonderful in all this and he is my main contact. They have not told my brothers yet but supposedly that will be done today - or maybe tomorrow... The face-to-face is scheduled for mid-June in Chicago (neutral territory) and I will be meeting "the rest of the family" in July in New York after the Adoptee Rights Demonstration in Philadelphia.
Thanks so much!
Chris, Well I did it!!! I called my birthmother today & it went fantastic. I followed your instructions and it all went well. I was very emotional. She gave me her address (which matches what you gave me) & wants me to definitely come and visit. I gave her my information & she was very receptive to the phone call.
I asked about her medical & she is healthy except for osteoarthritis which I also have. She has 3 children: 2 boys & a girl ( 2 in FL & 1 in NY). Her & her children are all fine. She has grandchildren & 1 great grandchild. She asked me to call later if I call during the week as she is still working part time!
My birthfather does know about me & I need coaching about contacting him when you have time. She has not had contact with him & said that she does not know if he is alive or where he is living just that he grew up in Astoria.
We discussed how we both hate the winter. She asked if I would please visit soon. When I told her that I live in FL she said that she has friends in FL that were from my town. I told her that I would mail her photos & she was going to do the same. I left it up to her if she wish to share me with her children. I told her that I had a wonderful childhood & she was so so thankful.
As I am to all of you!!
Thank you Thank you Thank you for fulfilling my dream. We will talk soon.
Dear Christine, I am not sure if you remember me or not- I hired you back in (I believe 2002) to find my birth mother. I had spent months searching for her- visiting the hospital I was born in, searching adoption sites online, visiting with the lawyer who handled the adoption, and even placing an ad in the paper...with no luck. However, you found her within 2 days. Amazing. Since then I have had some wonderful conversations with her and have exchanged pictures on several occasions. She has had an incredibly difficult life in so many ways, but was so incredibly relieved to hear from me. To be able to say "thank you" to her was just amazing. It has been a very slow and emotional process but I plan to go to visit her this summer to finally meet with her in person. I cannot thank you enough for the closure and relief that your services brought me.
Jessica, New York
As far as contacting I knew the correct protocol (contact the birth mother and only the birth mother) but I just had a feeling it would work out.
They called me yesterday. After all the reunions I have heard about from my various adoptee friends, this one has to be one of the most low key ones. No crying and blubbering, no overt panic. Her personality must be very similar to mine. They want to meet me and my husband. They are not going to tell their sons until after they meet me. I do not know why, but okay. I got the impression that He was more keen on having me in their lives than she was. I guess she is the cautious one - like me.
So reading what you have read about her from my non-ID, would you have expected her to have an MBA in Finance? Well, she does. He was the mathematician (which I knew),She was an actuary and He was a CPA.
So she was surprised but not surprised that I was a CPA with an MBA. It must be the genes.
Thanks again! I am still in shock and simply cannot believe you could do it.
I wanted to thank you so much for the work you do. Last week I contacted my birthson..and even though he was not aware he was adopted he was thrilled to hear from me. I know this is just a start and things always have the potential to sour (like in all families) ...but right now he is totally open to his new family and has embraced me and his siblings. I could not have imagined a better response. And none of this would be possible without your hard work and for that I will be eternally grateful! Thank you.
Wow, she has been right under me the whole time. I went to college two blocks away from her pervious address in Northridge CA from 1993 - 1997. Chris you are absolutely amazing and I will never be able to
thank you enough.